Archive for February, 2011


They’re Like Teenie-tiny fighting Machines

February 19, 2011

This needs almost no introduction. Except that I’m sure that both of them could and probably would kick my ass, but who would stop them? They’re just too cute and small, I would gladly hand over my wallet.

this also shows why America is falling behind in the world. Where is their pint sized killing machines? Justin Bieber? I don’t think so. He couldn’t kick his way out of a pair of pants (which i hear is quite easy)



Irony Is A Dead Scene

February 2, 2011

Today an electrician came to my house to repair my oven. Right there, two things I’m awful at. Cooking and being “handy”, I think I am a great engineer when I successfully change the batteries in the television remote or change the month of a calendar…yeah that is about as “handy” as I get. So needless to say when the hot plate would not turn of (a great feature when it is 38 degrees Celsius outside and barely any cooler inside) I panicked and called someone to make it their problem and not mine.

He promptly came over, poked his head INSIDE the oven, which I thought was strange considering that the problem area was the hot plate which is located ON TOP of the oven, although when I informed him of this he did not say anything but merely gave me a look which contained both distain and pity.

He told me what the problem was, but I could not recount it here considering.  a) I had no idea what he was saying but looked intently at him as he told me and nodded occasionally while saying “of course” and b) he could have told me oven goblins (or trolls) had wished away the magical unicorn that controls the on and off function in our oven and it would have seemed just as plausible to me.

I gladly paid him for doing a job I could never fathom of completing and showed him to the door. I shut it behind him thinking “glad that was over so fast” but oh how wrong I was. After placing his toolbox into the back of his Ute he proceeded to attempt to start his truck, it would not start. He tried like a real trooper out in the heat for ten minutes before sheepishly returning to the front door to inform me his car would not start, surprisingly I was aware of this fact considering I do live at the house he was loudly trying to start his car at. He told me he had called “A Guy” to help him. I thought this was best because no one I knew would be of much use since most of my friends are Art students and vegetarians. Great company for a Bill Henson Exhibition not so much for fixin’ stuff.

He asked if he could wait inside, of course I said yes. All the while I could not believe the ironic events that had befallen him, an electrician with car troubles. It felt like an episode of the twilight zone. After many minutes of awkward silence I tried to show him the irony of the situation, he did not see it. Irony is a dead scene.