Fan Mail #1

August 18, 2010

Here at the left wing love child headquarters (where funny happens) we have recently been flooded with fan mail. Most of it from Nigerian princes wanting my bank details (come on Nigeria, I hear that your economy is the fastest growing in the word, is it because of all your shifty prince’s asking for money?) some of the other mail is about penis size and enhancement, of which I have nothing funny to add, and about five percent is from actual people (mostly my mother). Due to this giant influx of mail we have had to open a second email account because Gmail was al like “we can’t handle the crazy amount of mail” so send any new mail to LeftwinglovechilOVERLOAD@gmail.com (please don’t I made that up as a joke)
So I will now take the time and this Internet space, to answer a letter from our number one fan.

Dear Alex and John

I just wanted to say that you are the sexiest blog I have ever read. What inspires you to be so spectacular every single day? Also I don’t think you make fun of religion enough, could you do more of that?
Love Angelina Jolie

Dear Fan

Why thank you, believe it or not we get that all the time. As for what inspires us? Simply to make one person smile, or teach even one person something totally wrong. If you really are Angelina Jolie I hope brad Pitt doesn’t read this because I saw fight club and he would mess me up.


How do I get girls to like me?

Dear Nerd (I don’t mean to assume but you fit the stereotype, you don’t have a girlfriend and you are familiar with email as means of communication?)

The best advice I can give is DO NOT be yourself, that is the last thing a girl wants. If being you has not worked so far than try to be someone else. Or get crazy rich and find women who like you for your money not your personality. Or your third option is die alone. Hope this helps!

That is all the letter replying I have time for today, but expect more soon! So if you have any questions or want some advice send you email to leftwinglovechild@gmail.com


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