Behind The Music: Justin Bieber – Riots, Money & Bedtimes

April 28, 2010

If you are above the age of fourteen and a male or a person who doesn’t like awful things, then you may not be aware of the odd condition that is sweeping the planet. I speak of course of “BIEBER FEVER” not to be confused with the equally contagious and deadly “BEAVER FEVER” this condition is fairly easy to spot and watch out because they have been known to riot at the drop of a hat. You can spot someone who loves the Bieb’s by the following:

•    Female (I’m sorry if you’re a male fan reading this but honestly if you do like him you probably should not admit to it, because a middle aged man liking the music made by a sixteen year old boy? Seems very creepy)
•    They are predominately deaf. How else could you explain them liking such awful music?
•    They are also prone to violent outbursts, exemplified by the numerous violent crowd incidents causing many a show to be canceled. My theory; terrible music made these people angry and violent. You never see people riot at a Bloc Party show.

Do you think he wears a digital watch because he hasn't learnt how to read analog yet?

My main problem with the Biebs is this. he is incredibly young. So it seems only obvious that any and possible all of the lyrics and music he is “writing” is being placed in his mouth by a giant team of composers and lyricists. This isn’t a fault of his at all, no sixteen year old should be forced to write such incredibly hard songs with rhyming schemes around the word “Baby” I can hardly maybe think of any rabies inflicted person who could.


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