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Money Buys Happiness?

April 7, 2010

I’m under the strict belief that money does indeed lead to and is a direct catalyst of happiness. Just ask me, I’m constantly happy and wealthy beyond your wildest dreams my friend. Rich in a spiritual sense (take that Gandhi, what are you going to do about it? Nothing because you don’t believe in violence) or if there is a sudden market collapse which in all seriousness could happen any day now, causing the new currency of choice to be fringe which I have a large abundance of.

Why do I think that money can buy happiness? There are three reasons. They first being that money will buy you a jet ski. I have done the math, double checked it with my secret laboratory filled with scientists and triple checked it with Wikipedia and it is physically impossible to frown when you are on a jet ski, it just can’t be done. If you try a black hole will form and you will be sucked into oblivion.

Even Simon Cowell, Renowned Crusher of Dreams, who In his spare time he enjoys pushing children of their swing sets can't help but smile.

It is a well-known and well-advertised fact that if you have more money than people will like you a lot more for it. Have you ever seen a homeless person with a MySpace page full of friends? Neither have I, and this is because what can a homeless person do for you? Remind you to prepare for the future and not make poor life decisions? Maybe. Could they shower you with fantastic gifts and take you to a five star fine dinner extravaganza? No.

How Often Do You See This? A Bunch Right?

Lastly I recently watched the latest Michael Moore film “Capitalism: A Love Story”. I’m a very observant person and the main message I got from this film was that there is no downside to capitalism, in an economy controlled by the people based purely on what is in demand there can be no downside. This is by the same population who thought that once the reality series Laguna beach was over they had not had enough of this raw drama so they demanded another show which is what gave birth to The Hills. Thanks America we owe you.

Just a regular Ol' Money Bath. Captalism at it's Best

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