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Televised Disappointments

February 16, 2010

So after writing a blog last week in which I took a tongue in cheek and somewhat in depth look into certain practices of different religions I have decided to try a different angle, mainly because last weeks blog got a less then amazing response I thought I would aim for a wider audience by writing about a subject every single person is an expert in. TELEVISION.

That’s right whether you’re gay, white, black, straight, Jewish, a scientologist or just from New Zealand, chances are you know a whole lot about television. This is because the television is truly the best date one can have (three guesses what kind of valentines day I had….yes a sad one), you can look however you want and it wouldn’t care. Naked? The television doesn’t care, eating a five-liter bucket of ice cream and naked? It still doesn’t care. The television is also there whenever you want it to be, if your high at two in the morning and feel like watching some infomercials and making some poorly informed purchases “why yes I do need kitchen knives that are also sharp enough to build a house with”, or if you feel like watching a horror movie and yelling at the characters and all their various mistakes, whereas if you where yell at your boyfriend or girlfriend pointing out their mistakes chances are they will just break up with you, just a guess though.

That is why I feel truly betrayed recently with all the new programs the fat cat television companies are forcing down my throat (well not forcing, but what else am I going to do? Go outside? Think again). These new programs I speak of are a genre that I think can best be labeled as “blue collar/everyday man reality T.V”, I call it this because it is simply everyday people doing their regular nine to five jobs. I can only attribute this new phenomena to the fact that everyone these days muss be born with a camera up their ass just filming away, ready to take their show to channel seven. How far are we really from a reality show called “the lives of a reality show camera crew” where people with cameras get to follow other people with cameras who are following a person do their grocery shopping.

What made reality television of yesteryear exciting was the extremity of things, such as on shows like “Fear Factor” they would have challenges such as “OK your first challenge is to eat this bag of fire, the you need to kill that grizzly bear with only this tea spoon and finally you must tech Paris Hilton what a complete sentence is then me her use one in an interview”, every one of these challenges is impossible but that is what made them all entertaining. Now we have gone from one extreme to another, with show like:


Lobstermen: this is a show about men who are on a boat and they fish for lobsters…that’s it! Fishing is one of the most notoriously boring hobbies of all time, yet some hot shot T.V executive thought it would be a good idea to turn what is essentially 95% percent waiting, 2% putting bait on a line, 2% drinking beer and 1% catching things, putting this on television? For shame.


Ice road truckers: This is a show about people driving, but not just in normal cars but in TRUCKS where you drive for even longer periods of time and not just on roads but on icy roads where you actually have to drive slower thus drawing out the show even more. Now I’m not the kind of person who likes to associate myself with conservative red neck truck drivers, so why do people think I would want to emulate a long drive with them with a T.V show. This also seems a case of men going where men shouldn’t, why do we need to drive on this ice? Do we not have the technology of panes and helicopters to get things over such harsh terrain as ice?


Dirty Jobs: This isn’t nearly as sexy as you might be thinking. No, instead the host of the show simply takes part messy (garbage man), disgusting (Kesha’s friend) or humiliating (McDonalds’ employee) jobs. There is nothing I like to do more than watch this show while sipping an espresso and laugh at the simple people who work such trivial jobs. For I’m a student, I alone stand at the gates of knowledge, in one hand I hold the key to unlock the mysteries to the universe while with the other I’m constantly fending of the temptations of the imbecilic such as center link payouts and selling meth out of a bath tub.

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