The New and Improved Me

January 25, 2010

As previously stated in another blog somewhere down the page I’m “blessed” with four sisters, sisters who are convinced that you can change a persons habits ad personality even if they don’t want to change and the best way to achieve this change is through constant nagging. This aside I was often left pondering the positives of having such a female dominant influence on my adolescent life, as I grew up certain that the best show on television was “The O.C” and I always had a way to informed opinion on the current season of “America’s next top model”. However after much thought, some nachos and coffee (to help fuel more thought…obviously) I think I have finally figured out a way to make this situation work for me.

When I considered for the first time that each one of my sisters has a different group of friends. So in theory I could make four different first impressions of four different entirely different personalities. This way I can use each group of people as a test group. To see what kind of Alex works best, because this current model of Alex I’m working with hasn’t gotten me anywhere, seriously at this point in my life I should at least own a tropical island (a small one even I’m not picky) or have super powers and live in the mansion. I’m not greedy; I just know what I want.

These are the four different potential versions of “Me” I will be giving a test run. If you can think of any others feel free to leave a comment.

•    For my youngest sister’s group of friends I think I will pretend that I have super powers. This should be fairly easy considering that they are eight years old and so also believe that at Easter time a giant rabbit sneaks into our house and leaves chocolate eggs for them to find, so me having super human strength or cat like agility might not seem like a huge stretch for them to believe. I think the best way to achieve this is to one afternoon pretend that I see the “Alex” sign in the sky, dramatically dash into the nearest closet and burst out donning a super bad ass costume declaring “evil doo-ers beware!!”

•    For my second youngest sister’s group of friends, I will make them believe I’m the smartest person who ever lived! Again this shouldn’t be too hard because this sister rolls with a group of overly Christian friends, So they all believe that fossils were put in the ground by the devil to fool us into believing in “science”, “logic” and “reason”. They are also in year seven in high school so they don’t know basic algebra, so my plan is to bust out some Pythagoras’ Theorem and blow their minds.

•    For my third sister’s group of friends I will have to make them believe I’m that really sporty and “Bro” kind of guy. This may take some effort, so we will see if it ever happens, but if it does. I will wear on my head at all times either an upside down visor hat (like all Bros wear) or a Nike headband. As for other clothes I will only wear singlets, which are a little too tight to accentuate the small amount of muscle I have, training pants and sprinters shoes (even if I’m just sitting around reading a book). I will also at all times need to be drinking vitamin water, because of all that sport I do I need to stay properly hydrated.

•    Finally for my eldest sisters group of friends. The last cliché I could think of was being the “indie/arty” guy. This isn’t too far a stretch so I will just need o accentuate certain things already present. My hair must always be disheveled, preferably unwashed and maybe even a leaf or two in it. I will claim that mp3s, CDs and vinyl are all too commercial so instead I will only listen to tapes on my old walkman, claiming it is the only elite and true form of music left, I may be seen listening to a CD once BUT ONLY IRONICALLY.

Any feedback would be appreciated as to what path I should take, think of it as a “choose you own adventure type of thing.  So leave  comment or two.


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