My Resolution Is To Be More Awesome

January 6, 2010

As the sand travels through the hourglass so does the pages of a calendar (quick side note here. How super shit is a calendar for a Christmas present? I’m a young adult I think I know what day comes after Tuesday…oh its Wednesday, of course) which brings us to a new year and a new decade. 2010. Yes we survived the horrendous decade known as the “Naughties” (TeeHee like as in Naughty because we are all so bad at heart) I feel as though this decade should just be known as “Puberty” because the 21st century is experiencing it’s adolescent phase. Who knows what will happen? Maybe it will experiment with drugs? Struggle with acne problems? Maybe even have a romance? Develop an eating disorder? Or better yet run away from home.

Whenever I wrote the date for the first day, 01/01/10, which happened a lot (all that damn paper work on new years eve and day) I felt as though I was writing secret messages in binary, not so different from the way a super sexy, foreign Spy does. So for a short period of time not only did I look like James Bond but I also acted like him.

Something everyone does even if not out loud but in a mental note kind of a way is to make new years resolutions. These are always really deep things to further these people on an intellectual and emotional level such as “this year I’m going to join a gym” or “this year I’m going to find a boyfriend” or “this year I will finish that book I started last year” this year. I feel as though I know myself well enough to know that I will never actually keep a promise made to myself, its not like I will chastise myself for breaking a promise to myself. So rather than trying to change me I will simply accentuate the positive aspects of me in the hope they will out shine the not so great ones.

Such as, considering my vision is somewhat lacking (blind without glasses/contacts and still a little blind with them) I will just use my other senses to heightened levels, for example I will yell everything and describe in great detail any sensation I have, people will say “honey, did you hear that man over there describe in great volume and very minute detail the temperature today? He must have incredible senses. All FIVE of them” another shortcoming of mine is I’m what some might call “lazy” while I call this “well rested”. To make it appear that I’m better then others and doing better things than others, if someone asks me “Alex! What have you done all day apart from drink coffee and sit on that couch?” and I will reply with “I’ll tell you what I DIDN’T do today, set fire to an orphanage and punch some nuns in the face. So your welcome” and in comparison it will seem as though I had quite a proactive and positive day rather than a lazy and lonely one.


One comment

  1. And also Alex, your house has so many freaking calendars I’m pretty sure you’d be able to check the day and date if you really needed to.

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