La Policia!!

November 1, 2009

(Translation: the police)

The police force of Australia seem to do a fine job, despite how crap any Australian police drama show is (city homicide…really?). Whether they are getting skate punks to conform to the rules, flexing their authoritative muscles to pick up ladies or having handlebar moustaches and wearing aviators while on a badass car chase, they generally keep the peace. However, whenever I’m around a police officer I always feel the same three emotions. Thankful that I don’t have to wear a uniform which makes me look fat and flustered, guilty that I have committed a crime I’m not aware of or wishing to show of the fact that I’m being so law abiding.

No matter where I’ am, whether its at the park, on a train or hiding a dead body. If I see a police officer I always feel just a little bit on edge. Now I have never committed any serious crimes, still whenever a man or lady of the law is near I get a fear, that perhaps I have a fight club style split personality that I’m unaware of who runs a meth lab in my closet and they’re coming to arrest me, damn that sexy Tyler Durden.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, the other strong feeling I get when I see the police. I feel a need to show of to them just how law abiding I’m being. Similar to the boy who wants to show his parents the new abstract crayon drawing he did or the teacher’s pet who so badly wants the teacher to know that he knows the answer to everything. Whenever the police are near I feel the need to say, “Do you want to see my train ticket? I bought one, just like the la says you should” or “hey, look who didn’t murder anyone today!”

Maybe these issues stem from a deep psychological trauma involving both the fear and paranoia of any authority figure. Or maybe I just watched too much Blue Heelers and so assume that the police are completely incompetent, low and British.


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