The Prize, And A Guide To Living

September 18, 2009

Why hello there, ladies and gentlemen. So it’s been two weeks (and a bit … pffft, I’m lazy) and the competition time is up. We’ve had some amazing entries, some adorable, some hilarious, and some downright freaky. We saw bits of the human body we really didn’t need to see, or know about at all really, and above all, we got some ego lovin’. Mmm mmmm.

However, to be fair, we did get less than ten entries, and as some random calling himself Ives pointed out, that’d be more of a participation prize. So we’ve decided that there will be only one winner. One entry to rule them all. Here at Left Wing Love Child, we don’t participate. We win. Or lose. We mostly win though. It’s like a 60-40 split … maybe 65-35. Anyway, we’ve decided to pass on this enduring philosophy to you, the faithful, and give you an example of how to win.

Hilarity is an art form. It is both efficient and meandering, ruthless and benevolent. It is betwixt all polarities, and hides itself in the shadow of the norm. More than that, it is a language unto itself. There are ways to speak it properly, and there are ways to speak it improperly. When the former occurs, it is truly magical. Worries dissipate. All that is good and right in life is emboldened to stride further into the light. If Gods exist, it is but a certainty that they would be noble disciples of this higher spirituality.

Are we worthy to practise such an art form? Of course we are, what a stupid question. But, and here’s the kicker, we are all worthy. Hilarity lives in us all. It’s not just something that Noel Fielding or Stephen K. Amos can do. It’s something we can all do. And here, at Left Wing Love Child, we do our best to encourage our listeners to be funny. You can do it.

For those of you who did not enter, who did not try, who did not believe, for shame. The universe sheds a celestial tear at your failure. However, you can redeem yourself. Simply send us something hilarious, and you will be saved. Easy as pie.

Anyway, back to the entry. It is from someone named Fern and goes as thus:

“You guys are so awesome, you make Mobile Suit Gundam look like Wall-E”

Essentially he claims that in our presence …

mobile suit

… looks like …


The most simple reason this is funny is the fact that it happens to be true. He’s right: our toned muscles and sleek physiques do tend to make fifty foot high robots look like douchebags. It is an observation that, through being true, adds to hilarity. This is an important lesson. Consider the two sentences below:

“Isn’t it funny how … ?”

“Wouldn’t it be funny if … ?”

That “if is a iron ball chained to the leg of joviality. It is mediocrity’s crutch. Yes, whatever that person said would be funny … if the pre-ascertained conditions were to exist. However, they do not. Ergo, it is not funny. Q.E.D.

For pointing out this essential life lesson, Fern nabs himself a sweet picture of us doing something awesome. Stay tuned for another competition coming up very soon.


One comment

  1. I only realised in this last week that my display name for my Gmail account *was* still Fern, I forget why exactly I’d set it as that, but that was 6 years ago… must’ve been funny at the time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: