How To Make Your Life Way Better Than Everyone Else’s

August 16, 2009

The best and easiest way to make your life appear to be better then everyone elses is simple: just lie about it. It’s not going to hurt anyone, except maybe the amount of people that trust you, but who needs trust when you have lies?

If someone I just met was to ask me, “Say Alex, what is a young hip guy like you doing on a Saturday night?” I would reply with “Oh I don’t know, maybe take my private jet to the white house and fist bump it up with my buddy Obama”. They would think, “Wow, he must be famous”. Are either of these statements true? No, instead I’m cleaning out the linen cupboard, but it’s a lot easier and cheaper to lie about it then actually befriend the president of the united states and then buy a private jet, not to mention the flying lessons.

Or what if a parental figure asks you “Now son, did you vacuum your room like I asked?”. I would instinctively answer yes with a big smile, when the truth is that there is at least four years worth of dust sitting around my room. However this lie will buy me at least half an hour of peace and quiet from nagging, not to mention the short lasted approval of my parents, and anyway this life is so short why waste time on getting long lasting feelings?

I mean I could do these things if I wanted to, but who has the time?


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